Have We Hit the Bottom?: Gearing up to try and make some money and salvage what’s left of this already wretched year #fuck2020 #socialdistancing

What’s good!? It’s your boy Judas coming back at you with that finance knowledge you didn’t want and most of you didn’t ask for (insert winky face emoji)! I’ll say it for everyone reading, “Fuck, my IRA/401k/TSP has gotten wrecked, wtf just happened!?” Bottom line, the virus (who shall not be named) has caused the global economy to come to a screeching halt and stocks have gotten absolutely demolished in the past month as people are panic selling implementing the very fucked buy high/sell low strategy. So, what now? You can cry about your accounts getting pulverized or you can gear up to buy some stocks/ETFs/Mutual Funds at steep discounts and take advantage of a buying opportunity that we literally did not see in the last decade.

My pledge to you: I’m going to provide you some tools and information in this post and posts to come over the next few weeks as we navigate this market correction/recession together! BUT: You will have to put in some work and read and educate yourself. There is no cookie cutter solution, right dollar amount or right risk profile I can recommend to everyone because everyone has a different tolerance for risk, different liquidity needs and has a different time horizon (most of ours should be long if you’re under 50-60) AND, disclaimer, I’m not a paid financial professional. RECOMMENDATION: is that you do what you feel comfortable with and strongly consider contacting a financial advisor, they’re not the devil and can help put together a holistic plan that works for you.

Ok, lets go!


A lot of people have been asking me if the bottom of this crash has occurred? Regarding an impeding recession, in my incredibly well written and articulate post that was lauded by at least five people, I opined that “nobody really knows when we’ll have a recession.” Well, I’ll say the same here regarding the bottom of this stock market ass beating…nobody knows when we’ll hit the bottom…not your uncle, barber, stock broker, bestie or even Kim K herself! And if they say, “It’s going to drop more!” or “The bottom is in, buy now son!,” then you should 100% reply with a gentle but concerned “You don’t know wtf you’re talking about” and walk away…just walk away and don’t look back…even if you hear sobbing….especially if you hear sobbing…for the love of God, don’t look back if they’re sobbing! Ok, long diatribe there, but in all seriousness, there’s no way to know when the bottom will be in. Best bet will be…you guessed it…dollar cost averaging over the coming months as the market continues whatever the fuck it has been doing the past four weeks. So, have a plan, then buy now, buy tomorrow, buy next week, buy next month, buy the month after that…you get the idea!


I understand that many of you are brand new to investing and all that jazz! The best time to learn about investing was probs in high school if such classes even existed…but you were prob busy learning about the Magna Carta and other useless shit (thanks public school system), but I digress…if you don’t know anything about investing, now is right time to learn! First, you should prob do a little reading on what is a stock, what is an ETF, what is a mutual fund and what’s the difference between ETFs and mutual funds. Also, what is an index fund and what is a sector ETF? And if you’re thinking about retirement savings, wtf is an IRA and what’s the difference between a traditional and Roth IRA? Lastly, what is a brokerage account? There are a lot of other questions you may have and I trust Investopedia and NerdWallet as reputable sources for such info.

So, you’ve done a little reading on investing now right? Right? I mean, you didn’t just bypass all those links I posted above and say to yourself “Fuck education, I’ll read those later, Bo’s about to get to the good shit!” did you? If you can answer all those questions above at a super basic level then continue, if not, please do the readings! Or don’t, you’re an adult after all…if fact, you can do whatever you want so I’ll go fuck off 😉

Ok, that was weird, but welcome back! Now lets buy some stocks so we can get a yacht next year (that’s a picture of my yacht, yours will be much, much smaller ;)!


First thing you need to do if you want to start stacking paper is open a brokerage account or IRA and put some money in it! Personally I use Fidelity for my IRAs (I do traditional and Roth) and I use Robinhood for my basic trading account because I don’t want to pay a $5 trade commission on small purchases (send me a PM if you want to open a Robinhood account and I’ll send you an invite and we both get a free stock…winner, winner, chicken dinner!). Any money placed in an IRA should be money you’re not planning on needing until you’re 60, it’s for retirement and IRAs have tax protection and also tax penalties for early withdrawal. Educate yourself on the difference between a Roth and traditional IRA to see what makes sense for you. Money in a regular brokerage account is relatively liquid meaning you could sell your positions (stocks, ETFs, mutual funds) and have money back in your bank account within a week. SOOOO, once you have money available to trade in your account, you’re ready to buy some stocks/ETFs and/or mutual funds. Now…


That’s the million dollar question right? Look, the market has gotten absolutely obliterated but any company directly impacted by the economic halt has been hurt the worst…think airlines (Delta, Southwest, American), casinos (MGM, Wynn), travel companies (Expedia, Booking.com), cruise lines (Royal Caribbean, Norwegian, Carnival), restaurants (Dine Brands Global, Texas Road House, Dave and Busters), theme parks (Disney)…many are down 60-80% over the past month! That’s fucking crazy right! Bottom line, do some of your own reading and research on sites like Yahoo! Finance, The Motley Fool, Zacks and Seeking Alpha. Also, if you want the safer play with less risk/reward of individual stocks, start looking at market/sector ETFs and index mutual funds to ride this wave back up. Some popular tickers in this field are VOO, SPY, QQQ and IVV…you’re brokerage firm may offer you commission free trades in certain ETFs/mutual funds but you’ll have to ask. For example, with Fidelity I can purchase most Fidelity mutual funds and I-Shares ETFs commission free as long as I hold them for 30 days. In the near future I’ll put together a post detailing companies/ETFs I’m looking at/have purchased.


The answer here is the same as above regarding the bottom of the market question. Nobody can say for sure, but history tells us that the US stock market will reach new highs in the future…could be one year, could be three, five, ten…idk! Tbh, for us younger folk, the market staying low for a while simply gives us the opportunity to contribute to our retirement accounts and invest at lower prices. Look, I get as excited as the next person when my accounts are hitting all-time highs but market swings happen. The key is, you guessed it ladies and gents, dollar cost averaging. Certainly I feel there’s some money to be made in the short-term buying these beaten down stocks but for most people, for the long-term, your best bet is sector ETFs and index mutual funds that will allow you to get the “market rate of return” over a period of 10-30 years. Start educating yourself now!


I know, this post didn’t give you all the juicy details you were looking for. This post is intended to get your smarter on investing and ready to start making moves now and in the future. Please, please, please educate yourself somewhat…you’ll never be “ready” but don’t just start buying stocks/ETFs/mutual funds before you do some basic reading…I know you’re stuck at home on quarantine anyways…so fucking turn off Netflix for an hour and READ! Rich people will be making a fortune as we recover from this market correction…we should simply be trying to get a few of the acorns that make it down to our level…yes, the system is rigged but you can either cry about it or get a few nuts for yourself and your family! Get ready, the bottom is here/coming soon! I’ll say it one last time, before purchasing any stocks or ETFs, you should do your own research and consult a financial professional because, disclaimer, I’m not a paid finance professional.

Be safe, get woke, I’ll be back soon! See ya!


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